New Year’s resolution failed, now what?

Research shows that most New Year’s plans fall by the wayside around February 19th. My plans didn’t go any better this year, just like the previous ones.

My goal was to write 500 words of fiction every day, read for 30 minutes, record and post a vlog, not eat refined food and run 15 minutes 3 times a week (Monday, Wednesday and Friday).

If I succeeded in everything, I would mark it in green, if I failed in something, it would be orange, and if I failed in everything, then it would be red (January 18).

It can be seen from the attached that in most cases, I managed to do at least some of what I planned.

The two things I did regularly were writing and reading, because it’s something I’ve been practicing daily for years.

Running went well the first week, the second a little worse, the third much worse, but yesterday I was back on the track. We’ll see how it goes.

The food, while not up to my standard, was still not that bad. 2 meals a day, at least 16 hours of fasting every day, now that the second meal is often crap… Fuck it. Sanja and I will be fixing that from February. It will be easier for us if we do it together. I need to get back to eating cleaner.

Vlogging went well for a while, when I had enough time at work to edit. When work got busy, there were no vlogs. Once a streak is broken, it’s not easy to continue. Starting tomorrow, I’m changing tactics. I will shoot every day, edit on the weekends and post 4-5 vlogs a week, which is not that bad.

But the most important lesson from this one-month experience is how to treat yourself? How to bear that failure?

My tactic is extremely simple – treat yourself as you would treat your best friend if he came over for coffee one day and said to you:

“Listen, I had this and that planned, somewhere along the way I screwed up and now I’m not where I wanted to be. What do you say?”

He certainly wouldn’t say: “You fool, I knew you wouldn’t make it! I don’t know why I even thought you’d make it this time. You will remain a wretch forever!”

Unless it’s something your friend is craving about and really wants to hear. In that case it is justified.

But, if we exclude those isolated sado-maso cases who can find motivation only if someone humiliates them, then the friend should be encouraged in some way. You would probably want to tell him that it’s completely normal and human to fail. It happens to. And what is important is that he does not give up on the big idea, but sits down, thinks carefully about where he went wrong and why, and that next time he pays attention to those things that hindered him in following through the plan, to eliminate or correct the damn thing, and everything will be fine. It is important that you are 1% better every day. Don’t compare yourself to others, instead compare yourself to the person you were or were yesterday.

That’s exactly what you want to hear. Don’t be that an over-demanding parent or a boss who is never satisfied with your performance.

You have to be your own best friend, because if you are not, no one else will be able to be, no matter how much they want to, because no matter how hard others try to cheer you up, reason with you, motivate you, if you are not good with yourself, other people’s efforts are in vain, because you will continue to sabotage yourself.

Don’t be your own worst boss, but be your own best friend who will always give you a wind at your back, pat you on the shoulder and cheer yourself up when it’s most difficult.