It’s that thing when you sit down and wonder:
“Why bother? Day to day I’m engaged in the same things, the same emotions, nothing new and important is happening in my life. I’m worthless dog!”
Some are engaged in these activities more and some less.
Some feel good about themselves, and there is nothing wrong with it.
But, those who ask these kinds of questions a lot have a huge need to express their feelings in some way; these people are often engaged in creative work.
Each morning, I sit in front of my laptop, I read the thing I wrote yesterday and I wonder:
“Who am I kidding?”
Steven Pressfield, in his book The War of Art, named this thing – Resistance.
It’s that chatter in your head which always says how worthless you are.
It’s not common only for writers but for everybody who is in the creation business and for everybody who is trying to make sense out of life.
It hurts when a stranger says something bad about us, but after a while we say that he was wrong, we forget, and we move on.
It’s much more difficult to conquer the Resistance within.
We think that we know ourselves, but it’s far from the truth.
We see what we want to see, we feel what we want to feel, and we believe in the stories which we say to ourselves and which we believe to be true.
Therefore, each morning, after I read what I’ve written the day before and after I say these tough words to myself, I decide not to listen to that voice.
That’s not me. That’s some voice which will never bring any good to me. Why would I listen to something that thinks only bad of me?
After that, it becomes quieter.
I question my goals and my steps towards it.
When I get the answer, I make sure that I’m currently on the right track.
For a long time I believed that something is wrong with me, and then, after I have read The War of Art I realized that not only that I’m not the only one who is going through such things but these things are completely normal.
I don’t expect that voice to exist anymore.
My advantage lies in the fact that I’m equipped with the spear which I use to pierce it.
Sometimes, the Resistance wins I feel helpless for days.
However, I know that these days are a normal part of life and that I’m equipped with everything I need to win at that nasty game.